I believe C’s concern about my blogging is that I’ll reveal too much. Yes, I have a lot to say. I write down a lot of things that never make it here. Some things would make your eyebrow go up, your chin drop, and your toes curl. Maybe this year I’ll share more stuff like that. But again, maybe not.
I don’t always share what I write
Some subjects are too sensitive to write so openly about. It’s easy to identify players in this Game of Life. Working in the beer industry. It’s more political than I ever dreamed. Sometimes it’s like a soap opera. Other times it’s a Groundhog Day of ever-repeating stock, checkout, data entry, clean, stock, checkout, data entry, clean,… In the midst of that there’s flints of drama. Successes, challenges, nice customers, mean/rude people, frustrations, failures, recoveries.
Being a business owner, my work hours are long. In the old days, as an employee or contractor, the norm was long shifts for months, it was like being a “sprinter of jobs.” As a business owner, it’s like being a “marathoner” — so far working long hours for five years straight. Thankfully, C holds down the fort so I can get time away to recharge my batteries. He needs time away too, and where is the non-work together time?
As a small business owner, there’s no “vacation” or “time off” without closing down for a period until you have the right team. Closing down pisses off customers. “Where the hell am I gonna get my beer?!” You have to think about how what you do will affect the people who support your business. You don’t want to lose them to convenience or grocery stores because you closed shop and pushed them away for a couple of days.
I’ve got a lot to say & my heart is heavy
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I sometimes speak too freely, too openly, too honestly. I am an idealist, an introvert, I have a desire to make the world a better place. I am an INFP/J according to Meyers-Briggs. What is this “P/J”? That result depends on my mood when taking the test; most times the result is P. I’m mostly an INFP: The Idealist.
There are sometimes long gaps between blogs. But I’m still writing. I’m jotting daily notes on my facebook page — sometimes snarky, sometimes dull. I’m writing blogs that remain unpublished. I’m jotting highlights of the day on the store’s daily sales sheets. I’m making notes on Post-Its. I’m scribbling in my Sketch Book.
2012 — It’s a new year: Time for fresh starts
Resolution #2. To write more.
Also: To create. To share. To inspire. To inform. To find peace. To be content.
And: To not stir up shit. Not unless absolutely necessary.
To write about what I’m feeling, what’s happening around the business, to really share what drives me to another pour, these 99 Pours. This blog.
Resolutions are nothing more than plans and goals. For many, including me, old habits usually win out over changing to… over creating new, better lifestyles. It’s hard to change at double-double-deuce.
I digress: My nephew just turned what he calls, “double-deuce”: 22 years old. It’s nice to see a young man not intent to get plowed, but to enjoy and savor beer. He’s a respectful beer drinker, still working his way through a six-pack I gave him in December.
Resolution #1: To get fit.
This means major life change, trying to craft new habits in the first 3 months. So far, not making enough effort. Falling into old habits. Fighting off seasonal blues. Effort made so far: Signed up to participate in the “2012 Get Fit Challenge” at C&C Studio. Still eating crap. Bad meal hours. Skipped classes this month due to annual inventory and snow/ice storm. Am I really serious about this? Will I make the life changes? Old habits are easy and comforting, yet not always comfortable.
In autumn of 2011 was the first time I was knowingly referred to as “the fat girl.”
I’m no Energy Bunny. My energy is drained. My cat-like reflexes become more “sloth-like” with each new year. Stiff knee joints make it annoying to stock low beer shelves.
I need to dedicate more time for exercise. I must learn to enjoy it.
…but I’d rather sit and write. Or help customers. Or stock beer.
1 comment
Tiffany
May 17, 2012 at 9:58 am (UTC -8) Link to this comment
Update: It’s now May and I’ve been slacking something terrible on my resolution to get fit. There’s multi-layers of feelings around this. I need to get fit to feel better, to become better. But I see how guys who visit the shop look at fit women… I see them lear. I don’t want that kind of attention. If I stay fat, unfit, I won’t suffer that. Terrible thing to say, I’m sure, but it’s true. But I really need to get in shape for my health, my circulation, my stamina. I essentially dropped out of the Get Fit Challenge, not a huge surprise.
New priority to continue: Zumba twice a week. Get the pup in for vaccination updates and a summer trim and start walking with him around the neighborhood a few times a week. Fearing discomfort of being stopped by neighbors to be engaged in chatter; I’m more of a wave and keep walking kind of person.