Category Archive: Retail Stories

Some of these retail stories are just too good not to share, aka "Man / woman walks into a beer store..."

Jun 07

Beer bottles, for the kids.

Lady phones a beer store and asks, “Do you have any empty beer bottles I could have?” Beer Clerk responds, “Sorry, ma’am we recycle any used on a daily basis and don’t keep any empties on hand.” “Well, you see,” explains the lady, “There’s a play at my church and I need a dozen or …

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Jun 06

I’ve got a special tattoo.

Yep, this just happened today. Guy walks into a beer store, sees the tattoos on the beer clerk’s arm. The fellow, also with tattooed arms, says, “Hey, I’ve got a special tattoo…” …the guy grabs at the bottom of his shirt… (There’s three of us on shift today; all three of us avert our eyes. …

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May 25


Guy walks into a beer store. Asks for advice on various beers. Beer clerk walks him around the shop, showing him a bit of this and a bit of that, then leaves him to allow him to continue to shop on his own. Guy’s girlfriend walks over to him and says about the beer clerk: …

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May 18

A kid in a candy store

So this happened today… Family walks into a beer store. Dad wanders off, browsing the hundreds of beers. Mom says, “It’s like being a kid in a candy store!” Daughter counteracts, “I’m a kid in a beer store.” I couldn’t help but smile. I’ve heard the “kid in a candy store” analogy hundreds of times. …

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May 17

Try Czechvar

So this happened today… One customer to another, “Have you tried Czechvar? It’s the original Budweiser. I can’t drink regular Budweiser because it gives me the runs.” And this: The customers didn’t know each other. I’m not sure if I should laugh, console, or blush. Personally, when I’m shopping, I don’t want to know which …

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May 11

Does cider taste like…cider?

Today in the beer shop: Lady, pointing to a hard apple cider, asks, “Does this taste like cider?” “It sure does!” replies the Beer Clerk. Ummm, yeah. That’s why it’s a cider. Yes, it’s true that ciders taste a little different from each other. Things that impact their flavor are different varieties of apples; mascerated …

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Apr 26

Do you have the “Dr. Seuss” beer?

Lady walks into a beer store. She knows what she’s after, so she walks up to me and asks, “Do you have Soos beer?” Me: “Soos? Soos Creek Brewing of Covington? It’s sometimes on the growler fill station…” Lady: “No. ‘Sooz.’ My husband loves it.” I stand there, thinking, “…sooz…” look to my fellow beer …

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Apr 25

I don’t like hoppy.

Guy walks into a beer store; sees so many different beers and wonders, “Where to start?!” I don’t fault him. There was a time where I’d walk into a beer store, see a thousand different choices and wonder the same thing. The guy asks beer clerk for help. Me, the clerk, in effort to assist, …

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Jan 05

Duck Tape is essential

Tonight I bent over to stock some beer and heard a rip. It was my pants. They’re old. Time to go shopping for a new pair tomorrow. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as the last time this happened… Two years ago, when an old weathered pair ripped when I was bending over, stocking beer on …

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Dec 28

Do you have Mojito?

I’m going on the record saying this… “…a MOJITO is not a beer. If you think it is a beer, you are crazy.” Do not ask for Mojito in a specialty beer shop. And when you are told that the beer shop doesn’t carry Mojito because it isn’t a beer, do not, I repeat, do …

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